butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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