You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
