If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
