i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
And then he peed in my hair
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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