Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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