dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
