Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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