do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
