I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
