I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
