I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
organizing the empties. That sober.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
