I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
