from now on my penis is your penis
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
