it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
