Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
