Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We had sex on a dog bed..
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
