Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
