UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Randomize
