Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
