I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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