Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I bet he comes in French.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
