apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
