I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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