shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
