Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
