i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
