she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
