The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
