Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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