You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
In other news, I just burned my penis
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
