OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
