I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
