Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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