Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
