Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
