Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
