We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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