I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
