I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
