he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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