Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
