Will you blow on my dice?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
