I didn't shave. On purpose
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My breasts were aching with rage.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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