the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
