the day after is always just damage control
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
