saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I want a musical about memes.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
