I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize