That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
