They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
