i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
