She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
