she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
