I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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