GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
