HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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